March 5, 2012

living and loving in defiance

there's nothing wrong believing in fantasies and fairy tales. i for one dreamed that one way or another, could experience the "they lived happily ever after..."
but making it as a pattern on how our relationship should be is a different story.
this world can be harsh as to how reality can painfully bites.
i don't want to be a kill joy that portrays the antagonist here.
am just stating facts, maybe not in general, but still facts.

gay relationship doesn't always ends up in happy ending.
sooner or later, there's an inevitable force of nature that eventually ends it up.
just as how all the universe conspired in establishing what you have, they will eventually connive in breaking it no matter how dying are you saving it...

alpha and omega...
everything has an end, good or bad will soon perished.
planning goals and setting aspirations can keep the fire burning.
however, inasmuch as i want to believe that eternity can possibly be achieved in this kind of relationship, i do not want myself to be blinded by such high hopes.

yes, i may not be hopeless romantic lover. but then again, romanticism alone is no good as realism.
be emotionally romantic and carry a realistic perspective --- that's how i live with it.
i enjoy the interval between the two end-points. i live one day at a time, saving every moments that i have for i never know if tomorrow may not be mine.
when separation comes, i can face it with a less severe wound and frustration.
look back of all the good things that happened, charge to experience and move on with less, or no regrets at all.
at the end of the day, this life isn't for's for satisfaction.


"you reminded me of that first love 9 years ago....
the last time i saw a man cry in front of me in a tête-à-tête.
i cannot forget that first friday night when i saw you cry.
when at the very least, i saw some honesty from you.
when i saw your weakest point, a soft-spot not everyone can see.
when you showed yourself, less bare and more than naked..."


March 4, 2012 residence


  1. they say that happy endings only exists in Books, stories and the like...., Just like friendship, it may end even in one snap of the finger....,

  2. may mga times na kailangan ng bad stories sa isang reality at ito ay isa lang sa mga pages :(

  3. @TR but that's the saddest aftermath. that after a relationship, we didn't save anything at all...even friendship.

    @kiko bad stories have their lessons to tell naman diba? :)