December 29, 2011

social gayness

so this is my last entry for this year.  and what do they say good about being the last means saving what is best.
honestly, aside from work, family and relationship, most of my 2011 consumed in social networking.  hahaha
it has been my outlet whenever am stressed.

seriously, it was actually fun.  i cannot deny the fact that it’s one of the highlighted memories of my 2011.
except of course from my personal friends during school days, social networking peers became an important part of me, especially those i had from PH.
i barely join on social groups, clans or whatever.
i’ve been a member of the site for quite a time now but neither do i join any of our previous events.
only this year that i finally decided to come out of the shell and meet the people who i everyday talk to in threads and chatbox.
and i wasn’t wrong in doing so.

i became friends to most of them.  now i believe that you can actually gain good company in social networking.
people who share the same interests and perspective in life and not just all about the call of flesh.
but of course, flirting can be fun sometimes. hahaha

i would like to end this with a simple quote i just saw on-line (duh. where do you expect i saw this? lol)

In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.   -Albert Schweitzer

thank you, dearests, for making this year worth remembering.
cheers for the year to come!


[christiansantamaria]


December 29, 2011 hospital

December 27, 2011

mahal kong 2011

parang kailan lang nung dumating ka.
ang bilis talaga ng panahon heto't paubos na ang mahigit tatlong daang araw mo.
ang totoo, kinabahan ako nung nalaman kong Year of the Rabbit ka.
sabi kasi sa Chinese Zodiac,  malas daw at hindi maganda ang taon na ito para sa mga isinilang sa kaparehas na taon.
pero ngayon,  may dahilan na ko paa hindi maniwala sa mga manghuhula.
hindi ko na maalala kung saan banda pero siguro nga hindi ako naging maswerte sa ilang mga bagay.
pero walang-wala yun kung ikukumpara sa mga biyaya na natanggap ko at dapat ipagpasalamat sa Diyos.

bawat taon, iba't ibang tao.  iba't ibang karanasan.
sa loob ng isang taon, masaya ko na may mga natutunan na naman ako sa ibang tao,  at may mga naibahagi din naman ako sa kanila.
wala ng gaganda pa na maging kabahagi ng buhay at karanasan ng iba,  sa kasiyahan man o kalungkutan.

maraming mga oportunidad at mga kwentong nagawa nung dumating ka.
sa pag-alis mo, sana hindi rin ito nangangahulugan ng pagsasara ng ilang kabanata na sinusubaybayan ko.
ganunpaman kahit aalis kana,  huwag kang mag-alala dahil hindi kita malilimutan kasama ng mga alaalang pinagsamahan natin dito sa puso ko.
paminsan-minsan kong gugunitain ang sayang idinulot mo at pati na rin ang mga lungkot ng lalong nagbigay sa akin ng dahilan para maging matatag at magpatuloy.

paalam na...hanggang sa muli.


[christiansantamaria]


December 27, 2011

December 26, 2011

seemingly blue

not actually trying to spoil the Christmas bliss.  just cant ignore something i carry.
these are the times when i had to decide which i should pay attention to...
my heart or my head.
though am good at analyzing things for other people,  the harder it seems when the subject is my own example.
am actually trying to seek for myself the right things to do and the right things not to do.
i barely solicit friends' opinions when it comes to my personal issues especially if it has something to do with my relationship which i often keep private as much as possible.

while am tying to veer from the fact that am emotionally unstable these past few weeks, i just cant hold the disguise that in my solitary, the strong sense of sadness covers my heart while my head continuously denying it.

i just hope that at the end of the day,  everything will be just fine for everyone and for anything else...


[christiansantamaria]


December 26, 2011

December 19, 2011

keeping the wisdom

not to blow my own horns, i have always been a person of opinion to my circle of friends.
am not actually sure if i achieved the status because of being witty or being opinionated, or the combination of the two.
whenever close friends ( even the not-so-close ) have issues or problems they're going through that they think require for a second thought, most of them seek for my opinion and advice.

like what i have posted here before, it gives me feeling of self-satisfaction knowing that your peers acknowledge your say and respect your thoughts.

it's actually tough though, knowing that whatever i say might influence in making or breaking someone else's decision. this dilemma happens especially when the outcome turned out to be otherwise with what you expected.

that's why when giving my two-cents worth, i always make it appoint to be as objective as possible, to be as impartial as possible.
of course, am not a perfect friend. by saying so, am not a perfect, not even nearly, a perfect adviser.
but keeping them soliciting my opinion now and then proved that, at the very least, i am a good one.

yes, i know there can never be absolute objective and or impartiality.
i just rely on keeping my conscience clear.
and when i feel that am happy and contented with the words that i gave, i knew then it was a good shot.


[christiansantamaria]


December 19, 2011 hospital

December 5, 2011

December 3, 2011

magreply ka naman

hindi ako galit.
pero minsan nakakainis lang talaga.
isang simpleng teks lang hindi magawa.
isang reply lang parang balewala.
hindi naman obligado magreply, pero sana naman iniisip na may naghihintay sa kabilang linya.
may nag-aalala...

[christiansantamaria]

December 03, 2011 residence

November 28, 2011

someone like you


the song is originally an Adele. love any versions though.
wala lang. gusto ko lang magemote.
pag bigyan na...

---

I heard that you're settled down
That you found a girl and you're married now.
I heard that your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you.

Old friend, why are you so shy?
Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light.

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,"
Yeah.

You know how the time flies
Only yesterday was the time of our lives
We were born and raised
In a summer haze
Bound by the surprise of our glory days

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."

Nothing compares
No worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes
They are memories made.
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."


---

[christiansantamaria]

November 28, 2011 hospital

November 24, 2011

pusong naghihintay

ilang oras na ba ang pinakamahaba mong nahintay para sa isang taong nagpasabing darating sya basta't male'late lang ng konti? hmm...gaano kaya katagal yung konti?
naaalala ko, 3 oras ako naghintay sa isang babae (hindi ko pa sya bestfriend nuon), na nakiusap na wag akong aalis dahil darating sya anuman ang mangyari.
sa totoo lang, hindi masayang mag-antay. nakakabagot. nakakainis. nakakaasar.
ganunpaman, nakahanda pa din tayo magsakripisyo dahil pinanghahawakan naten ang pangako ng iba.
syempre, hindi rin naman tayo mag tya-tyagang  mag-antay kung walang halaga o importansya sa atin ang taong hinihintay.
minsan sa paghihintay naiisip ko, "bakit kaya hindi ko nalang iwanan 'to?" o di kaya napapasalita ako ng, "sabihin mu nalang kung darating ka o hindi para di ako mukang tanga dito na nag-aantay..."

pero naisip ko, sana ganito din ang paghihintay sa taong gusto natin mahalin pero kailangan maghintay ng tamang pagkakataon.
yun bang tipong oras lang ang bibilangin. pero mukang malabo yun. napakalabo.
may iba't-ibang dahilan kase kung bakit kailangan natin maghintay.
depende sa sitwasyon at pagkakataon.
meron dyan sinabihan talagang maghintay, meron pinapaasa lang, meron di naman binalaan ng wag mag abala pero nagtyatyaga pa din mag-abang.

hindi naman natin sila masisisi. lahat naman tayo, sa parehas o magkaibang paraan, ay nagawa rin maghintay para sa taong gusto o mahal natin.
totoong walang katiyakan ang maghintay sa pagmamahal na hindi pa nauukol.
hindi malinaw ang posisyon mu. wala kang pinanghahawakan kundi ang salitang binitawan ng nagpapahintay o kung di naman ay ang sariling pasya na patuloy na magmahal at maghintay kahit pa posibleng mauwi sa wala ang lahat.

isa pa, kung ang paghihintay ang tanging magagawa ng pusong umaasa, maaatim mo bang putulin ang pinagmumulan ng kanyang kaligayahan kung bakit sya patuloy na nagmamahal?

kumplikado at malawak and topic na 'to kung isusulat man na pangkalahatan o kung iisa-isahin base sa sitwasyon at karanasan.
kaya naman gusto ko itong tapusin sa pagsasabing...

walang masamang maghintay. walang masamang umasa. walang makapagsasabi kung tama ba ito o mali.
wag mu na rin alamin kung kailan dapat tumigil dahil kusa mo itong mararamdaman. hangga't may dahilan ka para umasa at maghintay, ipagpatuloy lang.
sa huli, wala kang ibang masisisi o pasasalamatan kung bakit ka naghintay kundi ang sarile mo lang...


[christiansantamaria]

November 23, 2011 residence

November 18, 2011

should all acquaintance be forgot

i usually hear Auld Lang Syne whenever the yuletide season is approaching. though it’s not actually a christmas song, every time i hear the slow prelude version,
“should all acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind?”
i can’t help but feel a beat of nostalgia.

every time we look back at the days of our lives, there were a lot people we have encountered but never get the chance to know them better or spent plenty of togetherness with them.
sometimes i wonder where those people now. what are they doing? do they still know me, or at least could prolly recognize me if ever our path crosses again.
we can’t deny that those folks became, in one way or another, part of our lives. i said part because people do really come and go. everything happens for a reason and for a purpose.
i remember an article from an unknown author which i truly love, entitled,
A reason, A season, A lifetime.

i often recommends it to friends who sometimes raise questions as to why our love ones leave us in due time.
but of course, acquaintances are of different terms. we do not have definite attachment with them. and yes, there are few acquaintances that need to be buried.
still enough though, even burials are celebrated once in a while even in memories...


[christiansantamaria]


November 17, 2011 residence

November 12, 2011

malandi ka din ba?

anu nga ba ang tunay na kahulugan ng KALANDIAN?
may iba’t-ibang uri ba nito?

namamana ba ito? o likas sa tao? o baka naman natututunan lang?
kung namamana ito, sino ang malandi sa family tree? ang nanay? ang tatay? o baka naman ang mga ninuno?
kung likas sa tao ang kalandian ibig sabihin kahit sino pwede maging malandi?
kung napagaaralan naman, sinu-sino ang mga nagtuturo nito?

paano mu malalaman na malandi ka na at hindi na basta friendly?
kelan ba natatawag na malandi?

at ito pa. sakit ba ang pagiging malandi?
kung hindi, ibig sabihin attitude lang yun?
kung oo naman, may lunas ba para dito?
nakakahawa ba ito? at sinu-sino ang mga maaaring mahawa?

naguguluhan ako. bakit yung iba proud na malandi sila. yung iba naman offended?
hayy... ang dami kong tanong!

ahh... siguro para sa akin ang importante alam mo dapat sa sarile mo ang intension sa likod ng mga kinikilos mo. kung totoo ka sa sarile mo at wala kang sinasaktan o inaagrabyado sa paglandi mo, go lang teh!

maging masaya basta siguruhing hindi masagwang tignan ang paraan ng paglandi.
tutal lahat naman tayo may kanya-kanyang landi sa katawan.

nagkakaiba lang sa kung paanu naten ito dinadala, o kung paano naten itinatago sa iba...



[christiansantamaria]


November 11, 2011 residence

of infatuation

i was already here.  alone…  looking...  searching…
     until you came for the same reasons.


i was busy.  toxic…  weary…  bloody…
     you gave me reason to spare my time.


i was never sensitive.  na├»ve...  clueless...  plain…
     until you care to share your world.


i began to find joy.  blissful...  active...  inspired…
     you made it more blissful. more active. more inspired.


i get to know you.  shallow...  closer...  personal…
     you hesitantly showed yourself.


i find your value.  care for you...  miss you...  need you…
     you? i just don’t know.


i started to contemplate.  seek...  reflect…  realize…
     you were that self-assured.


i fell in love.  slowly...  deeply…  strongly…
     you have no idea.


i decided to be vocal.  honest…  straight...  determined…
     you have doubted my emotion.


i told you i love you with pure intention…
     you said no, it was just infatuation


[christiansantamaria]

November 11, 2011 residence

November 1, 2011

sponge

SPONGE (spunj) n. [ < Gr. spongia ]

1. a plantlike sea animal with a porous structure
2. the highly absorbent skeleton of such animals, used for washing surfaces, etc.

above are the literal contexts of sponge. but when you use it in a figurative way, personification to be exact, sponge means someone who absorbs factors, externally.
someone who found to be an outlet of other people's situation (often times unfortunate, i wonder why) and of course, someone who sought after for giving advice and second thoughts.
it's not easy to be somebody else's sponge. it's like immersing yourself to someone else's situation, absorbing the emotions, pacifying unwarranted reactions if necessary and then giving your two cents worth thereafter.

this really ain't easier when the sponge himself has his own personal issues to resolve and apparently at the same time, people will vent out their issues.
but who are these 'people' by the way?
they aren't just anybody else.
they are the sponge's FRIENDS.
they are the people who trust and rely on the sponge's understanding and sound judgment. perhaps they find the sponge as someone they're comfortable dispensing themselves out.

then there it goes credit for the sponge. the feeling of self-satisfaction is really overwhelming that people trust you, share their issues with you, and solicit your opinion is so much to be thankful for.
it's more than a compliment.
and you know it is self-proven the consistency of being trusted through time especially when not only one, but two or several people entrusted you at the same time.

so i guess it is very much appreciated to be a sponge once in a while.
being one implied a level of self-fulfillment towards aiming for people's trust and respect, which anybody can't have.


[christiansantamaria]

October 30, 2011 residence  

October 24, 2011

my baguio trip

it was 6am when we arrived in Victory Liner terminal at Session Road, Baguio City. Ken and I thought of having difficulty in finding affordable transient house where we could stay for 3 days. hindi naman kame nahirapan dahil pagbaba namin ng bus, di pa man kame nagtatagal na nagiisip kung saan magsisimula ng paghahanap, nilapitan na kame ni manong at nag offer ng mga transient at inns na pedeng matuluyan.
it was just so nice to find out that they have this mini information booth wherein you could find several brochures containing choices of luxury hotels to cheap inns and transient houses. another good thing there is that they would even accompany you and endorse you the place you chose to stay, just like what manong Edwin did when we finally picked our inn.

TUVERA PENSION HOUSE
we stayed at TUVERA PENSION HOUSE.
the place is actually a good choice for people who are budget conscious (lol).
the rate is affordable and the place is comfortable and secured.
not to mention, it is near our bus terminal and its location is at the middle of all the scenic spots we intend to visit.

the first thing we did was to sleep and rest for a while in able to obtain energy to begin our tour. we haven’t got an ideal night sleep while we’re on the way dahil nagkwentuhan lang kame ni ken sa bus at parehas din kaming di nakatulog ng maayos.

SM CITY BAGUIO
there we go... napahaba yata ang tulog namen. it was 12noon when we left our inn and decided to have lunch at SM CITY BAGUIO. we were both amazed with its structure. it has these terrace-like features on both front and back of the mall, intended for an overview of the whole Baguio City. kung di ka taga roon, iisipin mung aircon ang nagpapalamig sa buong mall and yet, very open ang structure ng mall. hahaha!
but of course, it has something to do with the coldness of the city. no need for full-scale aircon just like here in Manila.

i won’t narrate too much na even though gusto ko pa sana. LOL
just to save the space, i highlighted all the spots we visited and try to remark a few things lalo na if memorable. hehehe

1st DAY
SUNSHINE PARK
– common park lang din naman just like what we have here in Manila. may mga nag gro’group study, may mga naglalaro ng skateboard and all that. feeling ko tambayan yun talaga ng mga studyante.



BURNHAM PARK
– of course, best feature ng park na ito ang lagoon nya. Hehehe.
Ken and I were hesitant to take a boat sa simula. pero ayun...nayaya ko din ang ken at naenjoy nya talaga ito ng bongga! swear!
super happy sya at mabilis nyang natutunan ang pagsagwan.
feel na feel nya dahil mainam daw itong pampapayat at pagpadagdag ng mus-kels. hahaha
nag try din naman ako kaso di ko kaya. nahihirapan pa ako ee. hindi kaya ang 1 hour na rent para matuto ako. hahaha
since mabilis natutunan ni ken ang pagsagwan, more lapit kame sa mga otoko, mga mag dyowang nananahimik nilalapitan namen, pati mga bata di rin namen pinalampas sa pakikipag echosan.
i really really enjoyed there!

– seriously, kala ko talaga makakakita ko ng mga patubugan ng silver dito. hahaha!
kala ko it caters how silver jewels and accessories are raw crafted. chain of stores lang pala talaga sya ng mga nagbebenta ng silver. lakas maka bottom! LOL

flora @ ORCHIDARIUM
– para lang din syang mini park na pedeng pasyalan kung mahilig ka sa mga bulaklak.
bilihan ito ng mga orchids (malamang), pataba sa mga halaman at pati na rin yata organic soil for specific plants makikita dito.

– this is actually a close compound of bars. Friday night ng pumunta kame dito ni Ken. mga quarter to 12mn. basically alam na namen ni ken kung saan bar kame pupunta kase sinuggest na din ng isang kaibigan. we directly went to FRIDAYS. hindi naman kame na disappoint or whatever. masyado lang siguro kame nagexpect since ang mga clubs at bars dito sa Manila ay malalaki at sobrang laki ng crowd sa floor. mukang magkakakilala na din ang mga tao nung gabing yun so nahiya na rin kame ni ken sumayaw plus di rin namen type yung mga nakasalang na music.
NEVADA SQUARE
so we just decided to have a couple of drinks at naging pulutan namen ang mga koreanong iniinvade ang dance floor with their energetic foot works. hahaha!
seriously, ang daming Koreans sa Baguio (or siguro dun lang sa area namen)  kase one time may nadaanan kaming Korean school eh.
nyways, crush ko yung gwapong bartender nila. hahaha!
nawalan din ako ng 800 ng gabing yun! kakainis! to think na hindi na nga ako sumayaw at lumandi, nawalan pa ko. LOL
ang mahal ng bayad sa pagtingin tingin sa bartender na yun ha! hahaha
ayun...ang ending umuwi kame ni ken na zerowena. hehehe
but still, charge it to Baguio experience. J

October 19, 2011

self roughness

an excerpt dialog.
scenario : dinner


gay : i was thinking of having a vacation next week. sa tingin mu?

guy :  bakit? we just had nung August ha?

gay : wala lang. unwind lang sa trabaho. medyo stress these past few days kase.

guy : work-related unwind? as in bakasyon?

gay : oo

guy : tignan ko kung pwede ako. di mu naman ako katulad na mabilis nakakapag leave eh. tas next week agad. yun ba dahilan kung bakit lately eh, you've been kind of temperamental na naman? you seems floating lately.

gay : (nod)

guy: don't make me guess. kilala kita. mina-mani mu lang yang mga ganyan. are there things bothering you lately?

gay : (silence)

guy : ganun kaseryoso yan?

gay : (silence)

guy : sige. let's not get into this. hindi ko alam kung anu na naman yang tumatakbo sa utak mu. pero sige magbaksyon tayo.

gay : bukas sabihin sayo yung dates na available. kung saan, ako na bahala. siguro mga 3 days ok na yun.

guy : (silence)
--------------


[christiansantamaria]


October 19, 2011 hospital 
 

publicity is publicity

other than Mariah Carey, i used to ignore celebrity issues, local or foreign.
i am not actually a showbiz-critic fanatic.
however, i cannot help but smile in eyebrow about this Nora Aunor's cover in a mag with a cigar.
i don't understand why such an issue is a big thing.
i don't give a damn thing if it's an art or not since "art" is perceptive to individual's taste.
and too, i don't give a damn whatever her pose there may be, or how many sticks she have in hand.

well, it is true that Freedom of Expression should not be impeded.
but if you are someone of influence, i think you are abided conscientiously to only project, promote or endorse all that is wellness.

am not blaming the Superstar here. perhaps, she was just paid enough to do as told.
clearly, the think-tank behind this cover has to do with it.
it is so obvious that they crave for publicity for Nora, which indeed they had since the Philippine Medical Association (PMA) criticized the cover.
the think-tanks knew in the first place that people will certainly react to a celebrity who lost her voice and yet, posed elegantly with a cigar.
come on.

and i want to end this with an interview of a fanatic Noranian.

there he goes:
"maraming isyu sa bansa ang dapat pagtuunan ng pansin. marami lang talaga nakikiride on dahil mainit at sikat ang aming idolo ngayon"

now, you tell me...




[christiansantamaria]


October 19, 2011 Hospital

September 21, 2011

in the spirit of gayness

on the view of the latter note of the previous topic, as i have said, PinoyHunt (PH) used to be our home way back. but since it was already closed, some of us PHunters (residents of PH), created accounts on PinoyG4M, an LGBT social site also with the same advocacies and purposes as PH. actually, some of us were not actually aware that there is PG4M. good thing there is. J
we’ve just invited by our co-PHunter who also have an account on the said site.
honestly, am more comfortable signing-up with these user-friendly sites rather than PR or any of those word-wide gay dating sites. take that as an opinion.

and there we go. most of us find another home in PG4M. they welcomed us in good faith, in all fairness. the format and the style is actually ditto with PH. it is actually too late for me to say a few since past a month that i created an account there. so to stick to the title of this post, i noticed one of their threads, WHY IS MAJORITY OF THE PEOPLE HERE SO FIERCE?

it actually came to my attention after some unfortunate issues went into growling which i do not want to elucidate here anymore.
and so i quoted the exact post i wrote there...

 We used to follow 3 basic rules way back if we have issues like these :
 
  • FOR SENIORS : do not act AS IF you own the site.
  • the site was not created for YOU or YOUR GROUP ALONE, let it serve its purpose to EVERYONE.
  • RESPECT individual differences. YOU’RE NOT THE ONLY ONE HERE.
REMEMBER : you maybe the heart of the site but not the entire life-line. It’s all the members that support its advocacies and keeps it going.
As simple as that. Just sharing. :)

i once enjoyed the luxury of being a newbie and a senior. way back PH days, i admit that at times, i forgot that we, seniors, are not the only members of the site. that goes in terms of accommodation alone. but i, or we as a group, never came as fierce to anyone. i do not recall such comments from newbies then, neither a similar trending topic was raised to call attention. the only sin we oftentimes commit is we talk too much in threads. hehehe

i don’t know…
but most of us, includes me, enjoyed threading so much! hahaha
we used to generate and post on threads relentlessly and simultaneously.
sometimes with sense, sometimes it lacks. sometimes long and serious, often times funny and witty. so long as we enjoy and we do not step into any one’s foot, there we go.
the drawback is that new comers get shy on posting or replying on threads since we dominated every thread.  hahaha

that is the only issue we faced with newbies. but we always resolved conflict in consensus. little adjustments would do. at the end of it all, we’re all sharing the same sexual perspective in life. so then we must live in harmony and spirit of gayness. aja!

[christiansantamaria]


September 21, 2011 hospital

BER kaladkaran part 2

since am always on-line during weekday duties, i rarely check my accounts on weekends. it so happened that last sunday noon, i took a peek at YM to see if there were any messages that i have to attend. syempre, matic na rin yun na buksan ang PG4M at FB. hehehe

pag open ko ng fb, tyempo naman OL itong si CLOUD. chat exchanges took place until he invited me to have a coffee session in Tagaytay. sosyal.  magkakape lang dun pa.
since i have nothing to do that afternoon, it goes without saying yes but i refused the venue since it was too far for me to have just a cup of coffee…unless we’re talking of alamid or significant other. hahaha
naisip kong baka mas mahal pa yung pamasahe kesa sa kape. hahaha

though the venue is actually nice, i suggested a synonymous feel-good ambient which Intramuros i thought could probably a good choice. dahil parehas naman kaming kaladkarin at wala rin syang choice, we met a consensus thereafter. hehehe

Fort Santiago
it was past 3 in the afternoon when we met at SM Manila. we toured Intra and Fort Santiago. i think it was more than a year already since the last time i visited these places.


since it was nothing new for me on touring Intra, am much happy with how cloud enjoyed our trip, taking pictures and capturing angles for a good profile DP. hehehe

honestly, the walkathon was really tiring. it showed on how we perspired! hahaha

it was almost 6pm since we left Fort Santiago. we even had a thought of going back to see the nigh lights only to realize na hanggang 6 nga lang pala ang operating hours nila. hahaha


inside Resto D Mitre

so we just decide to find a good place to eat at nakita nga namen itong Restorante Dille Mitre, in front of San Agustin church. i think we were the first customer for a dinner. cloud said that the resto was featured in a tv show. well the place is actually good and relaxing. both the service and the food were great. not that expensive i guess. sulit ang bayad.
foreigners started to come when we had almost done eating.

and there goes the question we used to face often times… 
”san tayo tatambay?" 



alas! Starbucks @ MOA. hindi ko ito naisip (?) pramis. lol
saan pa nga ba kame papadpad kundi sa paboritong tambayan namin, MOA Sbucks, the one at the Bayview.
so ayun nga ang nagyari. from Intra to MOA ang lakad namen to have the supposedly “coffee session” which was the root cause of our meet-up.
we’ve actually trying to contact some folks who could join us there but to no avail.
as usual, more kwento more fun lang naman habang tumatambay at nagpapalipas ng oras. a thing most of my co-phunters simply enjoy. we decided to depart at 10pm.

honestly, napagod talaga ko at sobrang inantok na nung gabing yun. hahaha
haiysss…ang dalawang kaladkarin. J
thanks cloud. till next kaladkaran.


cLoud

PS. CLOUD is one of my closest friends in our defunct site PinoyHunt, an LGBT social network site.


[christiansantamaria]


September 20, 2011, residence

September 20, 2011

BER kaladkaran part 1

last september 10, i went to office to just actually attend a technical writing seminar in the afternoon. and as i always used to do during saturday duties, i called bilog to have a moment of talk over the line. suddenly, we both agreed to go out for a dinner after my seminar. skipping the course of learning, another college friend of ours texted me when i was on my way to meet bilog. incidentally, she was also inviting me then for a night hang-out not knowing that bilog and i were going to meet. hahaha
she told me that with her is two of our classmates also.

and so history took place to shorten this story. bilog and i had dinner first at SM North and then we just went to PANULUKAN to meet our co-inviters. the supposed dinner date only became a group hang-out afterwards with some old folks in college. there were 5 of us, bilog and i, and the other 3 was the first time i saw them again 2 years after our graduation. so much for an unexpected get-together isn’t it?

PANULUKAN is in Quiricada St., near SM San Lazaro, Manila. it is an antique ancestral house converted into bar and resto. although it wasn’t technically comparable to other bars in the metro, it has a unique edge in terms of ambient. by the way, the place is not air-conditioned and they just using these rotating fans. i do not know if they have this resident band but everyone is welcome to perform on stage so long as they have minus-one or instrumental of the song you would want to sing. menu is cheap although there were only few varieties to choose from.

there we had plenty of fun, a lot of talks, talks and more talks. we really miss each other’s company, talked about our where and whatabouts and of course, other people’s businesses as well. hahaha
we arrived there at 9 in the evening and stayed until 2 am.

and since all of us wanted to depart in a safe and sound hour, we decided to find a place where we could spend few more hours before going home. and we just found ourselves savoring every spoon we take in a lugawan/gotohan. hahaha
we were all tired and physically exhausted. we almost run of topics to discuss. we loiter there for about a couple of hours until we finally felt that it is safe to depart already. 

----
(sigh) that was actually a very random day. and all that is random is good to experience when you’re spending it with folks who make it randomly special.

PS. BILOG is she. a close buddy for several years now. we’re not actually calling bbf terms ;)


[christiansantamaria]


September 19, 2011 residence

September 14, 2011

settling down

way back college days. i always make it appoint to open my Friendster account. Facebook was not a pandemonium at that time. although i have an FB account, i rarely visit it even up to now that friendster was gone.
i don’t now. siguro nagsawa lang ako. kung tutuusin kase para sakin pare-pareho lang naman ang mga social sites. nagkaiba lang sa mga features, how it was formatted at syempre depende kung anu ba purpose nung site. basta nagkakapareho lang naman yan sa iisang bagay, CONNECTION / COMMUNICATION.
anyhoos, walang kinalaman yan sa topic ko ngayon. lol

nakita ko kase one time when i opened my fb, karamihan sa mga classmates at batchmates ko may mga asawa na. well, a few had their ways toward career-oriented life. may mga nagtratrabaho na sa ibang bansa, may ilan din naman na nagbabaksyon lang. sosyal. hehehe
minsan nga nahihiya ko mag comment sa mga pictures baka kase masabihan lang ako ng ”who are you?” o kaya ”do i know you” hahaha

anyway, let’s go back to settling down i was mentioning a while. am actually happy for them. they seem ok and contented raising their own family. i don’t know but i have this feeling of envy. hahaha
no kidding. mas naiinggit pa ko sa kanila minsan kesa duon sa mga successful career-oriented na mga kaibigan ko. so i asked myself, ”ako kaya? kelan kaya ko mag-aasawa?” or “may plano nga ba ko mag-asawa?”

one time i received a text message fom one of my closest friends in college. we actually eyeing up to now. i know she had her boyfriend for quite a few years now. to my surprise (should i be?), she was already 6 months preggy.
na’pressure tuloy ako. hahaha
feeling ko tumatanda na ko. i even told myself that i should settle down 3 years from now. you wouldn’t believe me. it became my dilemma for a few weeks. hahaha
i even asked thoughts from other peers. ok aman at nakakuha ko ng matinong sagot that pacified my mind. a friend told me that he had experienced the same thing too since she is already in early 30’s but still single. she told me that we’re not getting any younger.

and i further quote:
sigurado kana ba? handa ka ba emotionally and financially wise? masasabi mu ba na yung mga obligasyon mu sa family mu eh half-done na? yung pagaasawa o pagbubuntis ba nila nasa plano talaga o baka naman biglaan?
to ponder on the latter question, she has a point there. nasa plano nga kaya nila na magkapamilya na? circumstances like unplanned pregnancy might have forced them to enter family hood, i told myself. pero parang may mali o may kulang yata sa mga sinabi ng friend ko na un? hindi ba dapat supposedly tinanung nya muna ko kung kanino mag se’settle down? kung sa lalaki ba o sa babae? hahahaha

-------
kung tutuusin, there are lot of things to consider when it comes to settling down especially sa PLU communities. expectations from our families, peer pressures, unexpected or unplanned situations and of course, our own choices we have to make.

perhaps some of us probably thinking of being with opposite sex someday, while to those who really can’t, probably thinking of just adopting a child or hiring a baby carrier. well, to where life will lead us, hopefully we all gone through the right planning and correct thinking that lead us to the right decision. afterall, our happiness isa what rally matters at the end of the day.


[christiansantamaria]


September 4, 2011, residence 

September 5, 2011

gOing back tO friends


it’s been 3 months since the last time i talked to her. she is one of my closest friends. we’ve known each other for nearly 7 years. well, a brief explanation of why i never talked to her goes like this…
i simply got mad at her. lol

i don’t want to go in details but i think i lost my patience at that time. she has this kinda childish attitude sometimes. or to clearly say, malakas ang sumpong / saltik paminsan-minsan. hahaha!
of course am not trying to say that am a perfect friend with a perfect has it all attitude. we’ve gone through a lot of issues, big or petty, and we overcome those for years. maybe 3 months ago, i get full so much and my temper went uncontrolled. although no throwing of words went out, i make it appoint to make her feel my coldness and silence.
i never talk to her, so is she.

to be honest, am not the kind of person who sow bad emotion towards someone. i don’t want the feeling of carrying loath for too long.
heavy world is easier to carry than a heavy heart.
just a few days after i got mad, i already forgive her. it’s just that i don’t want to talk to her for a while to make her realize her mistake and that i really get hurt.
i knew in fact that she knows and admits her mistake because one time during our absence of 3 months, she made an attempt of trying to reach out. but to no avail, wounds are still fresh at that time.

until last friday, i felt that it’s about time that i should talk to her. christmas is just around the corner anyway. lol
so i invited her for a first friday mass at quiapo which we occasionally do every month. that’s the time again we went to quiapo after 3 months of silence. i think that was the longest time so far that i haven’t talk to her. but now we’re ok. am looking forward to having things back to their proper place as it was before.

….....
perhaps all of us at one point experienced misunderstanding with some of our friends. even the closest ones, we sometimes had arguments with them.
i guess that is what friendship really makes it all.
it’s not all about happiness, but also sadness.
it’s not all about complimenting, but disagreement.
it’s not all about being together, but also in absence.
both contrasting terms are essential to strengthen the relationship and for us to be matured in circumstances we had to face...

[christiansantamaria]


September 4, 2011, residence

August 26, 2011

buhayin ang blag na itO

OMG! (nyare nagulat talaga).

matagal ko na din hindi nabibisita ang blog na ito. obvious ba eh Feb. 2010 pa last post ko. hahaha
well, hindi ko na sana ito bubuhayin pa at gagawa nalang ng ibang blog ulit.
kaya lang naisip ko naman, sayang naman kung iiwanan ko lang. may mga napost na rin kase ako dito na sentinemental worthwise saken.

inopen ko ito nung mga panahon na wala pa kong trabaho at kasalukuyang tambay sa bahay. wala kaseng magawa at mapagkaabalahan nun kaya nagsusulat ako. hindi na ko bago sa pagsusulat.
yung tulang WRITER IN OBLIVION na sinulat ko para yun sa isang bagay na madalas ko dating ginagawa....ang pagsusulat.

well, since my last post, ayun nga naging busy na ko at hindi na ko nakapagsulat na naman for almost a year. isang taon na naman ang nasayang ko at hindi ko naisulat ang mga magaganda at di-gaaanong magagandang pangyayari sa buhay ko, at sa paligid-ligid.
nakakapanghinayang. marami pa naman sana akong gustong ibahagi (as if naman may mga readers) dito sa blog na ’to.

well, maami nangyari sa loob ng isang taon at higit pang nagdaan. baka mapuno lang ang page kung iisa-isahin kong balikan ang mga yun. basta ang masasabi ko, naging masaya ang nakaraang taon para sa akin at naway sa lahat din ng makakabasa nito.

ngayon, pipilitin ko na ulit na i’maintain ang blog na ’to. ayun lang muna sa ngayon.
aja!


[christiansantamaria]

10:18am August 25, 2011