February 28, 2012

so what's with the mag?

awkie...so this was the fuss people were talking about?
a mag cover with GMA Kapuso Star, Bela Padilla in her pink swimsuit surrounded by dark models with the cover caption: STEPPING OUT OF THE SHADOWS


seriously dearest? is this such a big thing?
yeah, i know right.  racism, color-discrimination, and all those things so to speak.
but aren't we tired of getting in into these lame marketing/publicity tactics?
again and again, just like what i have written here before about Nora's appearance in a mag way back, the think-tank behind this magazine, those who conceptualized the cover were the ones responsible for this.
they should be crucified! CHOS!
they knew in the first place that this will catch massive attention.
and yes, again they win it.

but this time, am not actually sure what they're up to, unlike with the Superstar that they really needed to boost her homecoming and recuperate her "superstar" status.
the issue on racial and/or color discrimination has long been addressed.
this social stigma has, at the very least, already been resolved if not fully eradicated.
in fact, homosexuality, (the gay stigma) is more apparent since there're still in the LGBT groups who experienced, and continuously experiencing discrimination in many ways especially those with HIV.

but of course, am not in any way telling that we should condone this irresponsibility in publicity and advertisement.
we have to respect differences in view points and observe full respect at everybody's perception of what they think is offensive or not.
i really hate those people who will do everything for profit even at the expense of putting a sensitive issue on the verge.

on the lighter note, it's a good thing that the FHM-Philippines already apologized for the cover, and to Bela herself for getting involved with the controversy.
the latter too, has tweeted an apology.


"In our pursuit to come up with edgier covers, we will strive to be more sensitive next time"
FHM Philippines said.
 http://www.abs-cbnnews.com/lifestyle/02/27/12/fhm-apologizes-scraps-racist-cover


so there...so much for this one.


like honestly?

HOUSE BILL 5850 of Quezon City Rep. Castelo proposing a standard seating space in jeepneys is way more interesting than this! lol




[christiansantamaria]


February 28, 2012 hospital

opinionated lang daw

______________________________________________________________________________
mangyaring pakibasa po muna ang pulang link upang higit na maunawaan ang mga tauhan sa kwento...KUNG gusto lang po naman. hehehe. salamat.
______________________________________________________________________________


sa nakaraang entry ko lamang bago ang isang ’to, nabanggit kong lumabas ako kasama ang ilang kaibigan. bukod sa taguan at bistuhan na naganap sa pagitan namen tatlo nila H at L, napagusapan din namen ang love interest (palang) ni H dito sa manila, si C.
galing din sya sa social site kung saan kame nagkakila-kilala nina L at H.
ayon kay H, wala naman daw silang tampuhan ni C pero medyo matagal na daw silang hindi nakakapagusap dahil busy ang isa’t-isa. nagtanung lang sya ng mga kaganapan tungkol kay C.

at ako naman bilang generous na kabigan ay nagkwento ng lahat ng mga gusto nyang malaman at  nagbigay na rin ng opinyon tungkol sa kung anu ba ang sa tingin ko ay tama at nararapat nilang gawin dalawa.
hayys...napaka opinionated ko talaga minsan. lol
pero hindi lang naman yata ako eh. ang balita ko ;



well going back, hindi ko naman mawari kung anu ang nasabi ko na tila ba nagpalala pa yata ng sitwasyon dahil taliwas sa aking inasahan, lalong hindi nagusap ang dalawa dahil umiiwas na si H kay C na ikinabahala ng huli.

kaya naman kinabukasan matapos ang gabi ng sabadong 'yon...
C kay L: kamusta yung lakad nyu kagabi? kamusta si H? anu napagusapan nyu? may mag napagusapan ba kayo tungkol saken? pakiramdam ko kasi iniiwasan ako ni H.

at dahil wala naman kaming itinatago sa aming mga napagusapan...
binanggit ni L ang lahat ng aming pinagusapan.


makalipas ang ilang araw ay nagkausap na rin ang dalawa...
C kay H: kamusta na? kamusta pala yung lakad nyu last time? may mga nasabi ba sayo sina L at Christian? Pakiramdam ko kase iniiwasan mo ko eh.
H: ahh…wala naman...busy lang talaga.


hanggang sa kagabi…
C sa akin: Christian, busy ka ba? gusto ko lang sana ma vent out. medyo masama kase ang loob ko. i know you would totally understand.


---------
ang totoo nagulat ako. hahaha
hindi ko naman kase alam ang mga nabanggit na mga pangyayari sa taas at kagabi ko lamang nalaman kay C mismo ang palitan nila ng mga tawag na yan.
hindi ko alam na may ganung mga kaganapan na pala. hindi man lang ako na informed! lol
kung babalikan ang gabing 'yon, hindi ko alam kong dulas lang ba ng dila ang nangyari o nadala lang sa takbo ng usapan kaya naman may ilang mga bagay na nasabi kami (ni L) na siguro ay dapat makabubuting magmula nalang sa kanilang dalawa.

pakiramdam ko napangunahan namen sila sa mga bagay na dapat ay sa kanila nalang mismo manggaling at pagusapan.
mga bagay na sila nalang mismo ang mag’initiate.
kung minsan ganoon nga siguro talaga…
gaano man kalinis ang intensyon mo na tumulong sa mga kaibigan mo lalo na sa personal na bagay, may mga pagkakataon na dapat ay hinahayaan nalang na sila ang lumutas…
ang hirap talaga ng masyadong maraming alam sa buhay ng iba. dapat laging tatalima sa "less talk, less mistake"
well, alam ko naman yun.
kaya lang kase sa kaso ng dalawang yun, kailangan talaga nila ng intervention. lol
pero ayaw ko naman magkaroon ng nominasyon!



mali lang talaga siguro yung timing ko?!? hahaha

well, alam ko naman maaayos din ng dalawang ’yon sa tamang oras kung anuman ang nagaganap sa kanila...
at bagaman wala naman akong maisip na anumang bagay na nakasama sa aming paguusap, dahil sa sobrang guilty ko ay kinausap ko sila H at C.
sinabi naman nilang wala kaming kinalaman (o ang mga napagusapan namen nung gabing yun) sa kung anu man ang pinagdaraanan nila.

haysss...mabuti naman pala kung ganun. marahil ay may iba pang pangyayari na tanging sila lamang ang nakakaalam. wala naman daw pala kami talagang kinalaman.
ibig sabihin nagsayang lang pala ko ng espasyo dito. ang gulo ng buhay ng dalawang yun. hindi pa man din mag jowa eh. lol


nung tinanung ko ang isang best friend ko kung madaldal ako, ang sabi nya;
"HINDI NAMAN. PERO MINSAN NGA.......YOU HAVE A LOT TO SAY..."


hahahaha! so that makes me opinionated. lol



[christiansantamaria]


February 28, 2012 hospital

February 22, 2012

of sharing and secrets

me and my other two beloved friends from PH (a defunct LBGT site) went for a simple meet-up last Saturday night at Trinoma. it was a perfect time for me to unwind and relieve my stress due to the busy load lately.

but before anything else, here are the cast of this post:
L - this is Loki. i already mentioned him in my previous entry (the most read).
H - a medical technologist. his hometown is Zambales. he only goes to Manila on weekends because he is currently taking a review for a qualifying credential to a greener pasture.
E - a graduating college student.
and of course, yours truly.

ahh, yes. there were actually four of us. but the other one went home immediately soon as we have convened. lol
no seriously, E has a compromise event with his school friends. he just passed by to see us...sweet, isn't he? hehehe
and so the three musketeers spent the remaining evening. we decided to have dinner at Sbarro since L and H were trying to escape rice.
while choosing our menu, L and H noticed a package meal that says, GOOD FOR 4 HUNGRY PEOPLE.


aside from numerical inappropriateness, i think it's quite expensive for three persons, and way too much for them who actually been trying to drop weight.
but stomach is greater than will. giving in to the sight of delight, the two agreed to take it. first i thought they were kidding but their pleas made me realized that they're indeed serious.

so there we go and enjoyed the table feast. not alone my stomach was filled but my eyes as well.
i noticed this handsome (to me atleast) and tall crew, name Allan.
no, i didn't ask for it. i just saw the name in his uniform.
L was actually teasing and telling me to do some feelers like asking for this and that or whatever. hahahaha
but i never did any (swear).
gosh...am not actually good at hiding chills so the two were laughing at me. hahaha

we were having a funny mood until L knew that H has already resigned in his current job in zambales to give way to his review. for a few moment i was out of place. a snippet of their conversation gave me signals that the two have a secret or whatsoever they've been keeping privately.

L : nagresign ka na pala? hindi ko alam...panu yung anu, yung sinabi ko sayo?
H : ako ba kukuha sayo? panu ba kase gagawin? ako ba o ikaw nalang kukuha sayo?
L : hindi ko alam....(silent)
H: ohh sige na magdadala nalang ako ng gamit!

and then out of nowhere i laughed! hahaha
i knew it! i said to myself. but still, to confirm my suspicions, i asked them what the hell they were talking about. but the two kept silent. i asked H what is it and he just said that i better ask L.
and so i did. i asked a simple question answerable by yes or no.

ME : isang tanong lang...yung bang pinaguusapan nyu ay isang bagay na tanging si H lang ang makakagawa?

much to my surprise, L didn't answer and kept telling me that it was nothing and just forget it.

(in my mind) hahaha confirmed!
what do these guys are thinking?? am not that stupid not to get the bottomline.
i mean, we are all working in medical field my goodness (L being a nurse in a well-known hospital).
they're my colleagues! lol
besides, am i not trustworthy enough for them?? lol

seriously, i totally understand L for keeping that thing secret, even to me.
i admit that i felt a little bad because he didn't tell me what's going on with him, as if i don't care.
but i guess that's just it. there are some things which we really are not comfortable telling at anyone, even to our closest friends.
nonetheless, in any case that he'll soon get tested, whatever the results may be, won't change anything the way i see him.
it will not make me love him less of a friend...i just hope that he knows how much i love him and the friendship that we have.

anyways, going back, i didn't bring up the topic anymore.
after we eat, we went to the garden (as defined by L), the open area located at 4th floor near Starbucks.
i actually don't get the garden description because for me it's like more of an open stage. hahaha
there we continued our chitchat and let the time pass us by.
we separate ways in good and happy mood that was supposed to be the ultimate goal of the night...



[christiansantamaria]


February 22, 2012 hospital

February 13, 2012

pasensya

nakakain ka na ba nito?


hindi ko na maalala kung kelan ako huling nakatikim nito. ni hindi ko na nga matandaan kung anung lasa nito eh.
hindi man ito ang paboritong biscuit/cookies ko, pakiramdam ko busog na busog ang katawan ko dito.
anyways, wala naman yan kinalaman talaga sa post na ito.


-----
hindi ko talaga ugali ang magtanim ng galit o sama ng loob. kung may isang bagay na natutunan ko sa karanasan, ito ay ang paglimot sa mga bagay-bagay na nagdulot at patuloy na nagdudulot ng sakit at hinanakit.
sinimulan ko sa mga maliliit na bagay. kapag pakiramdam ko hindi na dapat pang palakihin at pwede ng palampasin, hinahayaan ko na...pinagpapasensyahan ko na...
nuong una hindi ito naging madali lalo na kung labis akong nasaktan o nagalit. pero kalaunan, pinilit ko itong isaisip at ginawa ko ng prinsipyo sa buhay.
na ang pagpapatawad ay isang bagay na hindi mu laman ginagawa para sa iba, kundi para na rin sa sarili mo mismo.

katulad ng lagi kong sinasabi, kapag nagpatawad ka, mas magaan sa pakiramdam, malinis ang konsensya mo at wala kang anumang iniisip.
higit sa lahat, pinalalaya mo ang sarili mo sa tanikala ng kahapon upang magpatuloy sa buhay at harapin ang bukas ng walang anumang dinadalang mabigat sa puso.
kapag galit o masama ang loob ko sa isang tao, hindi ko muna kinikibo o pinapansin.
yun ay dahil iniiwasan kong makapagbitaw ng anumang bagay na hindi maganda dala ng init ng ulo.
sabi nga nila, kapag galit ka, manahimik ka. dahil anumang salitang pakawalan mo ay hindi na maibabalik pa.
at kapag alam kong ayos na ako, ako mismo ang gumagawa ng paraan para makipag-usap.
ganito ako sa kahit na sino. ako man ang may kasalanan o hindi, ako talaga ang kadalasang nakikipag-usap dahil nga ayokong magdala ng galit o sama ng loob sa mahabang panahon.
tuya nga ng isang kabigan ko,
"ang bait mo talaga. yan naman ang gusto ko sayo eh. iba ka dyan...bilis mo mag move-on..."

hehehe
pero minsan, may mga pagkakataon na pakiramdam ko sinusubukan talaga ng iba ang pasensya ko. yun bang tipong porket alam nilang mabait(?) ka, aabusuhin ka nila...aasarin...paulit-ulit...parang nakakaloko...parang nakakagago...
siguro dahil alam nilang mapapatawad sila kapag nag sorry sila.
dun ko naiisip na minsan kapag pinalalampas ko ang mga maliliit na pagkakamali, kapag nagpatung-patong, nakakarindi rin pala.

kapag ganun pakiramdam ko wala akong ibang pagpipilian kundi ang huwag silang kausapin sa mahabang panahon.
pakiramdam ko mas ayos pang isipin nilang galit ako.
kase para sakin mas ok siguro yung ma'realized nila mismo sa sarili nila kung anung mali nila, kesa naman ako pa ang magpamuka nun sa kanila.
ewan ko kung tama yun...hindi ko alam.
basta ang alam ko lang, hindi ko man ugaling mantikis ng tao, minsan naiisip kong kailangan yun para matuto sila. para hindi nila maabuso ang anumang kabaitang pinakikita mo...




[christiansantamaria]


February 13, 2012 residence

toxic minutes

i was so busy with work these past few days. i had an additional load that's keeping my brain processing busy than the everyday office routine.
i've been included in a meeting of our company's top-level management held twice a week.
well, our admin had this service of an American business consultancy firm aiming for a better word-class service.
it has been going for quite a few months now, and only recently that i've been tasked to take the minutes of the meeting.
if you think taking notes in a business meeting is just so easy, it isn't always so.
you, of course, have to initially understand what is the meeting all about and its objectives.
and since only lately that i joined them, i am of course interested in understanding the core than just merely taking and writing down the throwing of words.
i am pretty sure secretaries out there can relate to my situation.
i wish we're using a




however, minutes recorder should still be supported by papers.
and even in courts, human notes is still the primordial basis that is legally accepted.
i asked my boss if there was nobody taking minutes during their previous meetings.
good thing he didn't get me wrong with my question.
well, he just told me that he's the one who recommended me for the job because he believes that i am the best point person for it since i am well verse in




so there...


[christiansantamaria]


February 11, 2012 residence 

February 2, 2012

para kay kuya mario

maliban sa pangalan niyang 'mario' na hindi ko nga alam kung tunay o alyas lang, wala na akong ibang alam tungkol sa kanya.
tambay kasi si mario sa aming lugar. bagaman madalas ko silang nakikita ng mga tulad nyang tambay na nagiinuman sa may kanto, hindi naman sila nanggugulo o sakit sa ulo ng barangay.
sa hinuha ko, nasa 28-29 ang gulang nya base sa pangangatawan.
dinaraanan ko ang kanto kung saan sila nakatambay kaya naman madalas ko siya/sila nakikita tuwing papasok ako o pauwi galing trabaho.
minsan, nabalitaan kong nasaksak daw si mario at malubha ang lagay sa ospital. kung bakit nasaksak ay hindi ko na matandaan. nakalimutan ko na kasi at isa pa ay wala naman akong pakielam.

hindi naman kase ako nalabas ng bahay. sa maniwala kayo o hindi, bagaman kilala ko na halos sa muka ang lahat ng tao sa lugar namen, wala akong kaibigan o nakakausap man lang ni isa. taong-bahay kase ako.
umaalis ako ng alas syete ng umaga at uuwi ng alas otso/nuebe ng gabi.
araw-araw na ginawa ng Diyos, yun ang sistema ko.
sa tuwing off naman, maghapon lang ako nagkukulong at nagpapahinga sa bahay maliban nalang kung may mag-aaya ng gala sa aking mga kaibigan.
ipinauubaya ko nalang sa butihin kong ina ang mahusay na pakikipag kapwa-tao sa aming lugar kaya naman kilala sya sa amin.

---
balik tayo kay mario...

wala akong anumang kaugnayan kay mario (totoo). hindi kami magkaibigan, ni magkakilala man lang. ang natatandaan ko lang, may ilang mga pagkakataon na nagkakatinginan kami.
kung bakit, aaminin kong ako kase ang unang tumitingin sa kanya. may itsura kase si mario kumpara sa ibang kapwa nya tambay sa lugar namin. ganunpaman, hindi naman nya ako inaway, kinompronta o tinanung man lang sa mga tinginang 'yon.
maliban sa pagtingin tingin ko sa kanya, hindi sumagi sa isip ko na pagpantasyahan siya.
ilang araw ang lumipas, nang minsan pauwi ako, nakita ko na naman silang nagiinuman sa kantong 'yon. kaya naman naisip ko na baka ayos na ang lagay nya at nalampasan nya ang insidente ng pananaksak sa kanya.

hanggang isang araw...

nabalitaan kong binawian na sya ng buhay. medyo nagulat ako pero hindi naman apektado.
ang sabi, binangungot daw. pero sa palagay ko, malamang ay naabuso nya lang ang katawan nya matapos ang operasyon nya nuong nasaksak sya.
marahil ay nagkaroon ng kumplikasyon ang halos gabi-gabing muli nilang paginom sa kalagayan nya.

kahapon...

nanaginip ako. pauwi daw ako galing trabaho at tulad ng nakagawian, dumaan ako sa may kanto. kitang-kita ko at malinaw sa panaginip ko na nakaupo si mario sa tambayan nila. sya lang at wala ang ibang kasama nya.
pag daan ko, katulad ng kung gaano sya kalinaw sa panaginip ko, nagsalita sya ng malinaw sa pandinig ko;

"hindi mu man lang ako sinilip..."

pagkatapos ng sinabi nyang yun ay nagising ako. hindi ako nanlalamig at wala akong naramdamang anuman takot sa katawan. pag tingin ko sa relo, alas sais pasado na ng umaga at kailangan ko ng mag gayak papasok sa trabaho. kwinento ko sa mama ko ang panaginip ko. nagulat sya at nagsabing;
"naku. totoo pa naman ang mga ganyan (pagdalaw sa panaginip). dumaan ka muna ngayon duon kasi ngayong araw ang libing nya..."

nabigla ako. tila ba sinadya ang lahat. ang pagdalaw nya sa panaginip ko ay tyempo sa oras ng paggising ng pagpasok ko at tila sinabihan nya ako na dumaan man lang muna sa kanya dahil ngayon na ang araw ng libing nya.
ilang araw din kasing nakaburol si mario sa lugar namen subalit di ko pinapansin sa kadahilanang wala naman nga akong kaugnayan sa kanya.
pero nakapagtatakang binisita nya ako sa aking panaginip. hindi talaga ako makapaniwala.
kaya't ng umagang 'yon mismo bago ako pumasok ay sinilip ko sya. tinignan ko ang kinalalagyan nya at nagsalita sa aking isip;
"ayan kuya mario, sinilip na kita ha? ingat ka san ka man naroon..."

ang paliwanag ng aking ina, marahil daw ay nais nyang kaibiganin ako, o gustong makipagkilala nuong sya ay nabubuhay pa. baka gustong tanungin kong saan ako nagtratrabaho o gusto ako makainuman.
isang paliwanag na tinanggap ko nalang dahil kung tutuusin, wala rin naman ako maisip na dahilan kung bakit sya nagpakita sa panaginip ko...


R.I.P mario.


[christiansantamaria]


February 02, 2012 hospital

February 1, 2012

a not so long employee

today marks my 2nd anniversary with my beloved company. past 2 years so quickly. i still can recall how desperate was i two years ago looking for a job.
desperate, you read it right. i had a hard time in job-seeking way back.
being a fresh graduate then, my credentials weren't sufficient enough to level with other co-applicants who are ex-OFWs, registered nurses, call center agents to name a few, who were products of prestigious universities.
and not to mention, a single vacancy has a dozen hopefuls.
how was that for competition huh?

a little self-confidence and a huge amount of heaven's will were my primary tools.
our time calls for practicality so there's no room to be picky with opportunities nowadays.
however of course, some would really wanted a job that would best fit and utilize their degree and credentials, and i am one of them.
so there. i tried my luck in job database sites and the rest is history.
now am working in the administration at a private tertiary university hospital somewhere in the metro.
our office, Quality Control, functions as a recommending body that review/implement hospital systems, policies and procedures to better serve quality healthcare to clients.

will always be thankful to my mother company who gave me the first opportunity and believed at my potentials despite the lack of experience then.
how can't i be grateful to a company who;
gave my first employee ID,
gave my first pay check,
registered me to housing and social securities,
gave my first bosses and co-workers who are all so kind,
gave me 'toxic' and 'award' (in gay lingo, sermon/nasabon),
and most of all, who gave me the experience of being an "employee"...


cheers!



[christiansantamaria]


February 01, 2012 hospital