November 28, 2011

someone like you


the song is originally an Adele. love any versions though.
wala lang. gusto ko lang magemote.
pag bigyan na...

---

I heard that you're settled down
That you found a girl and you're married now.
I heard that your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you.

Old friend, why are you so shy?
Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light.

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,"
Yeah.

You know how the time flies
Only yesterday was the time of our lives
We were born and raised
In a summer haze
Bound by the surprise of our glory days

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."

Nothing compares
No worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes
They are memories made.
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."


---

[christiansantamaria]

November 28, 2011 hospital

November 24, 2011

pusong naghihintay

ilang oras na ba ang pinakamahaba mong nahintay para sa isang taong nagpasabing darating sya basta't male'late lang ng konti? hmm...gaano kaya katagal yung konti?
naaalala ko, 3 oras ako naghintay sa isang babae (hindi ko pa sya bestfriend nuon), na nakiusap na wag akong aalis dahil darating sya anuman ang mangyari.
sa totoo lang, hindi masayang mag-antay. nakakabagot. nakakainis. nakakaasar.
ganunpaman, nakahanda pa din tayo magsakripisyo dahil pinanghahawakan naten ang pangako ng iba.
syempre, hindi rin naman tayo mag tya-tyagang  mag-antay kung walang halaga o importansya sa atin ang taong hinihintay.
minsan sa paghihintay naiisip ko, "bakit kaya hindi ko nalang iwanan 'to?" o di kaya napapasalita ako ng, "sabihin mu nalang kung darating ka o hindi para di ako mukang tanga dito na nag-aantay..."

pero naisip ko, sana ganito din ang paghihintay sa taong gusto natin mahalin pero kailangan maghintay ng tamang pagkakataon.
yun bang tipong oras lang ang bibilangin. pero mukang malabo yun. napakalabo.
may iba't-ibang dahilan kase kung bakit kailangan natin maghintay.
depende sa sitwasyon at pagkakataon.
meron dyan sinabihan talagang maghintay, meron pinapaasa lang, meron di naman binalaan ng wag mag abala pero nagtyatyaga pa din mag-abang.

hindi naman natin sila masisisi. lahat naman tayo, sa parehas o magkaibang paraan, ay nagawa rin maghintay para sa taong gusto o mahal natin.
totoong walang katiyakan ang maghintay sa pagmamahal na hindi pa nauukol.
hindi malinaw ang posisyon mu. wala kang pinanghahawakan kundi ang salitang binitawan ng nagpapahintay o kung di naman ay ang sariling pasya na patuloy na magmahal at maghintay kahit pa posibleng mauwi sa wala ang lahat.

isa pa, kung ang paghihintay ang tanging magagawa ng pusong umaasa, maaatim mo bang putulin ang pinagmumulan ng kanyang kaligayahan kung bakit sya patuloy na nagmamahal?

kumplikado at malawak and topic na 'to kung isusulat man na pangkalahatan o kung iisa-isahin base sa sitwasyon at karanasan.
kaya naman gusto ko itong tapusin sa pagsasabing...

walang masamang maghintay. walang masamang umasa. walang makapagsasabi kung tama ba ito o mali.
wag mu na rin alamin kung kailan dapat tumigil dahil kusa mo itong mararamdaman. hangga't may dahilan ka para umasa at maghintay, ipagpatuloy lang.
sa huli, wala kang ibang masisisi o pasasalamatan kung bakit ka naghintay kundi ang sarile mo lang...


[christiansantamaria]

November 23, 2011 residence

November 18, 2011

should all acquaintance be forgot

i usually hear Auld Lang Syne whenever the yuletide season is approaching. though it’s not actually a christmas song, every time i hear the slow prelude version,
“should all acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind?”
i can’t help but feel a beat of nostalgia.

every time we look back at the days of our lives, there were a lot people we have encountered but never get the chance to know them better or spent plenty of togetherness with them.
sometimes i wonder where those people now. what are they doing? do they still know me, or at least could prolly recognize me if ever our path crosses again.
we can’t deny that those folks became, in one way or another, part of our lives. i said part because people do really come and go. everything happens for a reason and for a purpose.
i remember an article from an unknown author which i truly love, entitled,
A reason, A season, A lifetime.

i often recommends it to friends who sometimes raise questions as to why our love ones leave us in due time.
but of course, acquaintances are of different terms. we do not have definite attachment with them. and yes, there are few acquaintances that need to be buried.
still enough though, even burials are celebrated once in a while even in memories...


[christiansantamaria]


November 17, 2011 residence

November 12, 2011

malandi ka din ba?

anu nga ba ang tunay na kahulugan ng KALANDIAN?
may iba’t-ibang uri ba nito?

namamana ba ito? o likas sa tao? o baka naman natututunan lang?
kung namamana ito, sino ang malandi sa family tree? ang nanay? ang tatay? o baka naman ang mga ninuno?
kung likas sa tao ang kalandian ibig sabihin kahit sino pwede maging malandi?
kung napagaaralan naman, sinu-sino ang mga nagtuturo nito?

paano mu malalaman na malandi ka na at hindi na basta friendly?
kelan ba natatawag na malandi?

at ito pa. sakit ba ang pagiging malandi?
kung hindi, ibig sabihin attitude lang yun?
kung oo naman, may lunas ba para dito?
nakakahawa ba ito? at sinu-sino ang mga maaaring mahawa?

naguguluhan ako. bakit yung iba proud na malandi sila. yung iba naman offended?
hayy... ang dami kong tanong!

ahh... siguro para sa akin ang importante alam mo dapat sa sarile mo ang intension sa likod ng mga kinikilos mo. kung totoo ka sa sarile mo at wala kang sinasaktan o inaagrabyado sa paglandi mo, go lang teh!

maging masaya basta siguruhing hindi masagwang tignan ang paraan ng paglandi.
tutal lahat naman tayo may kanya-kanyang landi sa katawan.

nagkakaiba lang sa kung paanu naten ito dinadala, o kung paano naten itinatago sa iba...



[christiansantamaria]


November 11, 2011 residence

of infatuation

i was already here.  alone…  looking...  searching…
     until you came for the same reasons.


i was busy.  toxic…  weary…  bloody…
     you gave me reason to spare my time.


i was never sensitive.  na├»ve...  clueless...  plain…
     until you care to share your world.


i began to find joy.  blissful...  active...  inspired…
     you made it more blissful. more active. more inspired.


i get to know you.  shallow...  closer...  personal…
     you hesitantly showed yourself.


i find your value.  care for you...  miss you...  need you…
     you? i just don’t know.


i started to contemplate.  seek...  reflect…  realize…
     you were that self-assured.


i fell in love.  slowly...  deeply…  strongly…
     you have no idea.


i decided to be vocal.  honest…  straight...  determined…
     you have doubted my emotion.


i told you i love you with pure intention…
     you said no, it was just infatuation


[christiansantamaria]

November 11, 2011 residence

November 1, 2011

sponge

SPONGE (spunj) n. [ < Gr. spongia ]

1. a plantlike sea animal with a porous structure
2. the highly absorbent skeleton of such animals, used for washing surfaces, etc.

above are the literal contexts of sponge. but when you use it in a figurative way, personification to be exact, sponge means someone who absorbs factors, externally.
someone who found to be an outlet of other people's situation (often times unfortunate, i wonder why) and of course, someone who sought after for giving advice and second thoughts.
it's not easy to be somebody else's sponge. it's like immersing yourself to someone else's situation, absorbing the emotions, pacifying unwarranted reactions if necessary and then giving your two cents worth thereafter.

this really ain't easier when the sponge himself has his own personal issues to resolve and apparently at the same time, people will vent out their issues.
but who are these 'people' by the way?
they aren't just anybody else.
they are the sponge's FRIENDS.
they are the people who trust and rely on the sponge's understanding and sound judgment. perhaps they find the sponge as someone they're comfortable dispensing themselves out.

then there it goes credit for the sponge. the feeling of self-satisfaction is really overwhelming that people trust you, share their issues with you, and solicit your opinion is so much to be thankful for.
it's more than a compliment.
and you know it is self-proven the consistency of being trusted through time especially when not only one, but two or several people entrusted you at the same time.

so i guess it is very much appreciated to be a sponge once in a while.
being one implied a level of self-fulfillment towards aiming for people's trust and respect, which anybody can't have.


[christiansantamaria]

October 30, 2011 residence